Life is draining, and we find ourselves trying to keep our heads held high through self-motivation.
Is it just me, or is everyone feeling the burnout caused by life? Let me take you back to 2019, the pre-pandemic era. Reflecting on my schedule then, I realize I used to spend a considerable amount of time outdoors. As an amateur musical theatre performer, I attended rehearsals four times a week and during weekends, going out every Friday and Saturday night, and occasionally on Mondays, Thursdays, and Wednesdays. I met new people regularly and made time for each of them.
All of this occurred alongside a full-time 9-to-6 in-office job. Seriously, how did we manage to get up at 7 am every day, get ready, drive to the office in decent outfits, and spend nine hours a day away from home?
Today, I struggle to keep up with anything. Firstly, I need a compelling reason to get ready and leave my house, especially after 8 pm. Musical theatre, which once brought me immense joy, now feels like another job.
This past year, I noticed signs of burnout from simple life activities like socializing or engaging in music. So, I tried different things to overcome it. I decided to start painting, choosing it precisely because I'm terrible at it. This decision granted me independence; there's no need to make progress or set SMART goals for this specific activity.
And it worked that way. I genuinely enjoy spending two hours at the painting course I attend every Thursday, not looking at my screen and achieving average results. However, it didn't alleviate the burnout.
I don't want to attribute this to age. Yes, I am over thirty now, but many people in their thirties feel more energetic and full of life than in their twenties. So, what's the reason? Why do we feel this way?
Because life is no longer on an upward trajectory. The economy, prospects, and social interactions experienced an upward trend during our parents' youth and our childhood and adolescence. We were promised a fulfilling life if we achieved certain milestones, but many of us realize that life is an uphill battle, and we need to fight harder at every step. Even when we win these battles, reaching the level of prosperity our parents had is almost impossible.
I avoid generational categorizations, and I won't simply explain this as a "millennial thing." Gen Z and Alpha generations will face these adversities even worse. It's clearer if we view this from a holistic perspective.
Finding a job is challenging. Finding a meaningful and fulfilling job is even harder. Buying a house is out of the question. Moving to a larger rental is a dream only the luckiest can entertain. Yet, we need hope; hope to achieve some of these. That's why we keep trying. That's why we enroll in distance learning on topics we were never interested in and actually have no time for. That's why we switch jobs. That's why we keep "networking." That's why we constantly think about ways to sell our experience and skills as consultants or freelancers. Because the pay isn't enough, and the job market is more competitive than ever.
So, let's revisit this picture. We're working jobs that neither pay well nor support our well-being but expect us to be grateful and give our all. When we do that, we realize we've made "work" our whole life. To avoid that, we try to find ways to support our well-being, like hobbies or vacations. Only to find that vacations are short-term solutions and not always affordable. Hobbies try hard to fill the void but are insufficient, making us feel like they're an additional burden. The limited time away from the screen is usually filled with plans and thoughts about how to navigate life and upgrade to an upper class.
I admire "spiritual" people. I've never been one. I don't believe in spiritual self-help or manifesting. Yes, having a positive attitude or living in the moment is great for mental health, but given objective factors like the job market, rental market, racism, neoliberalism, and affordability, expecting people to have personal responsibility for "feeling good" seems absurd.
So what do we do? I'll provide some coping mechanisms I've discovered. However, our actions and attitudes will yield limited results.
Be mindful about what you say yes to
We've all experienced moments when we have to attend or do something we agreed to weeks or days ago. Don't overthink it; say that you need some time alone. Don't generalize spending time at home, not socializing, or being unproductive for a short period to your whole life. There are times when you may choose not to do anything, and that's okay. It will pass, or if you find you enjoy it, it doesn't have to pass.
Be gentle to yourself
We often judge ourselves more harshly than we judge others. If you've skipped the gym for the past couple of weeks, what good may come from getting angry at yourself for that? Think about your best friend. What would you recommend to them if they came to you being as harsh as you are to yourself?
Don't over-plan
Planning has worked great for me, but sometimes we get lost in it. While having goals in life is powerful, be mindful of your surroundings. If you're new, recently changed your career, struggling with health, or had a baby, realize that your long-term plans may change. So, don't spend hours making detailed plans.
Enjoy unproductivity
In a world that praises productivity, don't fall into that trap. You cannot be productive 100% of the time. Sometimes, you need to spend hours binge-watching Love is Blind Brazil, and there's nothing wrong with that. Don't generalize your unproductive moments into your whole life. You're not an "unproductive person"; you're a human being who occasionally needs to rest and relax.
Be part of a community
We often isolate ourselves in adversity. Being part of a community that shares your struggles, belief system, and perspectives will help you feel understood and prevent you from isolating yourself and putting too much pressure on yourself.
The message of this post is to provide reflection and assure you that you're not alone. Many people are experiencing "life burnout." Take care of yourself, listen to your needs and wants, and give yourself some time to make it through the day. Then, we can think about what awaits us tomorrow.
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