It is a pure epiphany. I don’t remember feeling more relieved of a burden than in this moment.
I recently experienced this moment on a cold, dark, and windy day in Toronto, and since then, I have felt like a new human being.
Jokes aside, a 32-year-old woman who has been working for the past few years in pretty decent jobs should never have such a moment, but life (capitalism) failed us.
I remember my parents buying their first house. They both come from low-income families. My paternal grandmother is illiterate and has never worked in her life, and my grandfather was a factory worker. My maternal grandmother learned how to read and write when she had five kids, and she lost her husband when my mom was 17. She was the sole breadwinner of the household for most of her life. But both families managed to support their children to receive a decent education, and my parents became lawyers.
They bought our first house in a low-income neighborhood when I was 10. Until then, we lived in rentals or in a housing option called “lojman” in Turkish. These are affordable rentals (almost 1/5 of market rentals) provided by employers (usually public service) to their employees. They managed to save some money and buy a house without any debt. After that, it was easier to build assets.
However, since I started saving up some money, I have constantly witnessed how my ability to invest in a property keeps declining. If it was 40% possible in 2019, it is only 12% possible today. (Numbers are all made up.)
Moving to a new country did not help, obviously. I have no family support, and the housing market is even more challenging. I am not sure if I plan to live here for the rest of my life (as I will be paying off its mortgage for the next 30 years), and even if I do, shouldn’t I also be making additional investments for my retirement?
My partner and I sat down one day and made the calculations. In order for us to buy a house of our liking and save around $1000 extra per month, we need to earn 100% more than what we make right now, which is not impossible, but definitely not happening in the near future.
Additionally, we are now in financial constraints as we recently moved, and our employment status is… complicated. Therefore, we are already pushing ourselves to the limits of saving. And it consumes us.
Look at this picture: we changed our lives 180 degrees, living in a much smaller apartment than we are used to, distant from our families and friends, getting used to a new culture, trying to build up a network, and distancing ourselves from simple joys of life like going to a concert, a sports match, or a cottage trip. This doesn’t make sense. It would make sense if we were in our 20s and knew that this is a temporary measure and would end in a year or two.
But then I realized, spending $2000-3000 each year by depriving myself of these small moments that could bring more pleasure to me than anything else will not drastically affect my down payment. Sure, if my plan is to save enough in the next 25 years, it might, but in that case, am I ready to go on with this lifestyle until I am 57? It really doesn’t make sense.
At this point, I want to give a disclaimer. I am not suggesting to anyone that you should not be saving to buy a house. I am simply indicating that, although I am currently taking almost every action to save, with the current economy, I am not able to save enough to buy a house. I can still give up having an occasional coffee outside and save for smaller things such as a new car, furniture, or a trip to visit my parents, but a down payment is beyond my skills and control.
It also embarks on some existential questions: I have only one chance in this world to live my life to its fullest, should I be spending it in hopes of owning property? Why? So that my children will start their lives with an asset? What if I don’t have any children? But if I want to have children, then I need security, hence the property…
I couldn’t solve this sixties and sevens, at least not at that moment. So I simply decided to change the plans and postpone the problem. As simple as it sounds, it made an incredible difference in how I view my life.
My life suddenly enlivened. I started enjoying the smallest things, like having brunch with friends every once in a while without feeling guilty. There are events that I look forward to that lift my energy even before happening. I became more patient with money, as opposed to last fall when finding a way to double our income was the only thing on my mind. Deep down, I know it will get better, but waking up every day and finding that your income is still the same as yesterday leads to constant disappointment and wrecks your day after day.
Since the day we put our calculators aside, my partner and I are able to plan our career projections more objectively. We are able to prioritize what is best for us.
Also, the market economy is tricky, and if you are two regular income/full-time employees, there is really no simple way to win it. We should be reminded of this regularly, as I find many of my well-achieved friends putting the lion’s share of blame on themselves for not being able to “make it” financially.
If you also struggle with financial hopelessness and have decided to resort to untraditional money management techniques, comment or send an email. I would love to learn from you!
#financialliteracy #housing #housingmarket #millennial #immigrant #newcomer #canada #toronto #economy
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